Gleefully Devoted to Motherhood

Posted by admin | Posted in motherhood | Posted on 14-06-2012-05-2008

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Jonathan Daniel/Getty ImagesMary Lou Retton has four daughters, and three of them are gymnasts.

Mary Lou Retton, the first American female gymnast to win a gold medal in the all-around, was the star of the 1984 Summer Olympics in Los Angeles. she won five medals, including two silvers, for team and vault, and two bronzes, for uneven bars and floor exercise.

More recently, Sue Sylvester, Jane Lynch’s fictional character on the Fox show “Glee,” made a passing reference to Retton as her worst enemy. and Retton is among the former athletes whose retro images are being featured on Wheaties boxes.

Now 44, she has four daughters, three of whom are gymnasts. Retton also travels the world as a motivational speaker to promote the benefits of proper nutrition and regular exercise.

Q.

How do you spend most of your time?

A.

being a full-time mother and wife. That includes driving, cooking and all the other activities.

Q.

How are your daughters doing in gymnastics?

A.

My 17-year-old is training at Level 10. My 15-year-old is a competing Level 10. My 9-year-old is a Level 8. and my 11-year-old is a competitive cheerleader.

Q.

How will the American women’s gymnastics team do in the London Olympics?

A.

There will be stiff competition, but we should be vying for team gold.

Q.

What are the chances of Nastia Liukin or Jordyn Wieber winning the all-around?

A.

Jordyn is the reigning world champion and has a very good shot at repeating. but I feel it will be extremely difficult for Nastia.

Q.

What countries will present the biggest challenges to the United States?

A.

Russia, China and Romania.

Q.

What do you think of reports that the Chinese team includes under-age girls?

A.

I believe they cheat about ages. I was in China four years ago and saw the gymnasts, and it is my opinion that they were not the correct age. Cheaters should be punished.

Q.

What do you think of the new, and complicated, scoring system?

A.

I hate it. it should be changed back to the perfect-10 system.

Q.

has the sport changed much since the time you competed?

A.

Oh, yes. It’s much more difficult. Equipment has changed as well. Vault table is not horse anymore, which is much safer. Bars is a completely new event. There’s no more wrapping the bars with your hips.

Q.

What did you think when you heard your name on “Glee”?

A.

It’s always a surprise when you hear your name thrown out like that. That evening, I received about a hundred tweets and texts.

Q.

What athlete do you admire?

A.

Lance Armstrong. He pulls strength from places I’ve never been.

Q.

What’s on your iPod?

A.

Oh, my. I have an eclectic taste. Mariah Carey; Michael Jackson; Earth, Wind and fire; .38 Special; Adele; Lady Gaga; We the Kings; Pink; Usher. and yes, Justin Bieber — for the girls!

Motherhood becomes Charlize Theron

Posted by admin | Posted in motherhood | Posted on 14-06-2012-05-2008

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By:

LOS ANGELES—“She calls her son an a–hole. That’s the headline,” said Charlize Theron, who was at her funniest during a recent interview at the Arundel Castle in West Sussex, United Kingdom.

She adopted a baby boy, Jackson, last March. Being a brand-new mom seems to have brought out Charlize’s sardonic humor in full force.

Like a sailor

The actress, who stars as the evil queen in “Snow White and the Huntsman,” was fondly described by the film’s producer, Joe Roth, in an earlier interview as a beauty who talks like a sailor. Asked if she’s more careful with her language now that she has a baby around, Charlize—who won an Oscar and Golden Globe best actress award in 2003 for “Monster”—began her answer by citing “Go the F**k to Sleep,” the best-selling “children’s book for adults.”

She said of the book written by Adam Mansbach and illustrated by Ricardo Cortes: “I had not heard of this book but, for some reason, my friends decided to send a copy to me. I love this book [now] because I’m not a very earnest person. I love that my son thinks I’m the funniest thing ever. Right now, he doesn’t know the difference. I will have to clean up my house of language. but as of right now, I love to read this book to him. I can look at him and call him my little a–hole and he thinks that I love him.”

She added, “I know that in a year, I’m not going to be able to do that so I’m going to enjoy that now. my mom and I are very much aware of it… we catch each other all day. We’re like, ‘We can’t do that anymore. stop saying that.’ ”

Delightfully loose

Said Charlize of Mansbach: “But I do love that this writer realized that a lot of parents like me do that (utter profanities), wrote a book, and it’s one of the best… I read it to myself at night.”

Asked what kind of mom she is, Charlize deadpanned: “I just give him some nails to play with.” she was on a roll now. we had never seen her this delightfully loose, in a joking mood throughout the exchange. “Once in a while, I give him a saucer of milk and hopefully, he will be able to feed himself. I hope it goes well. Is that okay? Is that what you do with babies?”

Chuckling again, she reflected on her zany answers: “You are making me sound like the worst parent ever. You will write these stories and sarcasm does not travel well. Everybody thinks I’m a serious actress and they’re going to take these things very seriously… ”

But she pointed out that adoption had always been on her mind. “I’ve always wanted to have kids,” she said. “Always. Even if I was in a relationship or if I had children of my own, I always knew that I wanted to go this route. so this wasn’t like a last resort for me or anything like that.”

Charlize continued: “There’s a lot of time and effort that go into adoption, so it’s not like you wake up one morning and by 4 p.m., you have a baby. it doesn’t happen that way. I knew it would take some time.”

She is obviously enamored with her son, whom she described as a “little slice of heaven on toast.”

Charlize found it amazing that she needs little sleep these days. “That’s probably the biggest surprise because I used to be a lover of sleep. This little boy has made me realize that I actually don’t need much sleep. he just revitalizes you… You sleep for three hours but there’s this excitement in your house. There’s energy, love and this little face. It’s just like 40 coffees and 20 hours of sleep, in a way, when you look into that little face… I’m really impressed with how well I actually function [on little sleep].”

Even in sleep

The 36-year-old actress, who is very close to her mother

Gerda Theron, noted: “My mom took a photo of me sleeping on the plane while I’m holding a bottle for him. I didn’t know she was taking the photo. I looked at it and went, ‘Wow, look at the angle of that bottle. I do that even in my sleep?’ I was very impressed with my skills.”

Admitting that she worries “like every other mother about whether I’ll do it all right,

Charlize said: “You know that I have a very close relationship with my mother. she is the ultimate grandmother. I am not doing this alone. It’s incredible to have someone like her.” she said that she also has the support of friends who are moms, too.

She continued to heap praise on Gerda, with whom she shares a turbulent past in her native South Africa (Gerda reportedly suffered abuse at the hands of her husband, Charles Theron). Being a mother has made her even closer to Gerda. “It’s just so strange,” Charlize pointed out. “I was talking to a friend about this the other day. she has a very close relationship with her mother, too. I was like, it’s so weird, I like my mother so much more. I didn’t know it was possible.”

She quipped: “My friend was like, ‘I want to marry my mother.’ It’s just this strange thing that happens that you can’t explain. I’m incredibly happy.” she said she feels like wanting to “invite everybody on my cloud because this cloud I am floating on is so huge right now. There’s room for everybody… that’s such a blessing.”

Suzy Homemaker

The statuesque beauty, who always stuns observers on the red carpet, enjoys being away from show biz and doing chores at home instead. “I’ve always been a Suzy Homemaker,” she revealed. “I love cleaning and cooking. Some people even think I’m obsessive and compulsive about it. but I love that stuff. I like doing my laundry. I like vacuuming… I’ve never been a little princess about that stuff. That’s actually very therapeutic for me.”

In director Rupert Sanders’ take on the “Snow White” fairy tale, Charlize suffuses her evil queen with humanity. she admired her costar Kristen Stewart’s work ethic and attitude. “I have such a crush on that girl,” she said. “I really do. Talent is one thing but I think, in this business, there are a lot of talented people. I’ve never thought like, ‘Oh my God, I am so much more talented.’ it really is about opportunities that are given to you and what you do with those opportunities.

About Kristen, she added: “This is a girl who had massive amounts of success at a very young age. I wouldn’t have even known what I would have done at her age with any of that stuff. she could very easily

just kind of lay back now, realize that she does have a huge fan base, and not want to do anything about it, and that those are the things that are valuable.”

Tenacity, moxie

“But the truth of the matter is that she actually loves being an actress. she really loves acting. You can’t fake that. There’s a tenacity and a moxie about her. she shows up ready. She’s ready to spar and she’s excited about pushing the envelope and trying sh-t. She’s alive. It’s like watching someone who’s alive and exactly in the nature of what she should be.”

Playing the queen who gets to utter the famous words about who’s the fairest of them all, Charlize said of her own relationship with the mirror: “I don’t know one person who doesn’t have a conflicted relationship with the mirror. I think we’re all the same when it comes to that. Some days are better than others. it just depends on the night before or the day ahead. I am just like everybody else. I feel really lucky that I was raised by parents who never felt that my value or successes were going to be based on what I looked like. That somehow helped me in my life. I don’t know what I would have been like if I wasn’t raised that way. so I don’t get too hung up on that.”

On her way down the castle’s stairs, Charlize had to slow down midway because Kristen was changing from stilettos into comfortable Converse shoes. Without missing a beat,Charlize jokingly complained, aloud: “Christ, is Kristen Stewart holding us up again?”

E-mail the columnist at rvnepales_5585@yahoo.com. Follow him at http://twitter.com/nepalesruben.

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Tags: Charlize Theron , Entertainment , Golden Globe , Hollywood

Motherhood is…

Posted by admin | Posted in motherhood | Posted on 05-06-2012-05-2008

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Motherhood is eating the sandwich with the end pieces so your children can have the sandwiches with less crust.

Motherhood means being able to identify one of the many different physical traits that indicates your child is lying through their wobbly, loose teeth.

Motherhood means applying sunblock so often that your right hand has eternal protection from the sun’s harsh rays.

Motherhood is calmly explaining to an irate child, for the thirty-seventh time, why they can’t do something the neighborhood kid is doing.  (Or at least attempting to explain it calmly.)

Motherhood is swallowing the angry words that bubble up inside you when your child knocks over a glass of milk, for the second time that day.

Motherhood is asking, “Did you wash your hands?” twenty times a day for an entire decade whenever a child uses the bathroom.

Motherhood means you rarely get a sick day, even if you are sick.

Motherhood is reading the same picture book night after night after night, using the same expressions and sound effects because it is your child’s favorite.  Even though you despise that book with the burning intensity of a thousand suns.

Motherhood is not showing how sad you are when your children stop holding your hand to cross the street.

Motherhood means knowing when to be honest (“I don’t think you put your best work into that.  Let’s do it again and get it right.“) and when to lie (“That is the most beautiful unicorn picture I have ever seen!”)

Motherhood is taking twenty minutes to show a small child how to correctly do a chore that would only take you five minutes to do.

Motherhood is the ability to quickly plate the dinner salad so that the tomato lover gets most of the tomatoes, the kid with braces gets no croutons, and the dairy obsessed child gets extra cheese.  Then remembering which plate is which so they end up with their rightful owner.

Motherhood is rocking a small child with an earache/cough/upset bellying all night despite fatigue or having to work the next day.

Motherhood means knowing a small tyrant that yells, “I hate living here!” when she doesn’t get her way doesn’t really mean it.

Motherhood means answering hundreds of questions every single day for the rest of your existence.  Even when your kids are grown up and out of the house they will still call and ask for recipes or suggestions or advice.

Motherhood has nothing to do with DNA or giving birth.  It has everything to do with love.  Fathers can mother, older siblings can mother, aunts can mother, girl scout troop leaders can mother, Sunday school teachers can mother.

In fact, the world would be a much better place if more people everywhere mothered.

Guidance counselor discusses pregnancy, motherhood with students

Posted by admin | Posted in motherhood | Posted on 03-06-2012-05-2008

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Published may 15, 2012 at 7:54 pm (Updated may 15, 2012)

GOSHEN

Favorite Mom Quotes

Posted by admin | Posted in motherhood | Posted on 03-06-2012-05-2008

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Mom quotes are great to have around. if you are having a rough mommy moment, seeing one of these quotes on your refrigerator can make you laugh instead of cry. they can be inspiring when you feel overwhelmed and offer comfort when you feel alone in the experiences of motherhood. I

Motherhood: A time of excitement and preparation

Posted by admin | Posted in motherhood | Posted on 01-06-2012-05-2008

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Motherhood: A time of excitement and preparation

“We understand that birth takes a woman from one location in her life to one more. to possess the chance of acquiring a substantially solid and much better pregnacy, you perhaps should really take into account having some prenatal vitamins to yor eating plan because it is actually a delicate period in evry woman life. Staying powerful and healthy while pregnant is very important for the development of one’s child as well as for the general health condition. to acquire additional data about prenatal vitamins please contemplate going to our internet site and send us an e-mail in case you have got any questions about our vitamin prenatal merchandise. the birth of a youngster absolutely does alter her viewpoint of herself and I believe her viewpoint with the globe.” , Sameerah Shareef

You produced it by means of your wedding and that honeymoon inside the Bahamas. But just after you thought you were already within the middle of the ideal years of one’s life ,,, you get the news that you happen to be pregnant!

For your, this is certainly the really highlight of one’s married life. the adore you might have for a single yet another has now come to fruition ideal within your own womb.

But soon enough, you understand that pregnancy is not all about celebration and anticipation….it may also be a time of physical and emotional strain. For the very first time, you get to expertise morning sickness and all the discomfort, nausea, and vomiting that it entails. the sickness can start out just prior to you miss your initially period and it is brought on by the sudden improve in hormones throughout pregnancy. Pregnancy is also a time for studying, not merely for the mom but for the dad also. Any expecting couple should know that conception takes location in 3 basic stages: ovulation, fertilization, along with the division on the fertilized egg. Fertility varies significantly in between couples, as it can take a single couple only some weeks prior to the woman conceives, while with other individuals need to wait numerous years just before they have a youngster. there are numerous variables that may perhaps delay conception which may perhaps involve drinking, smoking, taking certain types of medications, obesity, drug use and exposure to heat and chemicals among others. Morning sickness is also pretty popular but is generally gone by the second trimester. aside from morning sickness, a pregnant woman really should also expect to feel fatigue, swelling of the breasts, increased sensitivity to odors, frequent urination, and abdominal bloating.

To enable you to possess a safe pregnancy, you may desire to consider the following strategies:

l Avoid foods with smells that bother youl Eat loads of carbohydrates like ricel Try gelatin desserts, sugared decaffeinated or herbal teasl Avoid rich fatty foodsl Fruit is much better at stopping nausea than sweeter snacksl Ginger was confirmed to be secure to utilize and assist relieve sicknessl Keep dry crackers by your bed and eat or two ahead of obtaining up in the morningl Don’t let your stomach stay empty for far more than a couple of hoursl Trying acupressurel Take vitamins prescribed by the doctorCarrying a baby ought to be one of the most astounding event within your life. Taking care of yourself must be top rated priority which implies you always should get a health check,up. Common visits to your medical doctor will assist ensure the progress of the pregnancy. Consume a nicely,balanced diet regime as that you are now “eating for two.” Take folic acid and ample amounts of vitamin B,12, which is located in fish,milk, eggs, and meat.

Being pregnant is a great event and will affect your body for 9 months. Possessing a child doesn’t mean you may have to give up lots of enjoyable activities. Ensure that you get the proper prenatal care and it is also alright to perform light exercising during your pregnancy. Adapt a relaxation technique that will enable you to become a lot more ready specifically for the labor.

As your infant grows. Take time to pamper oneself and bond extra with your husband. Superior however, get wonderful maternity clothes that improve your look. getting a child doesn’t meant you must stopped paying focus to oneself and though you are in such a stage, explain for your husband that’s component of becoming pregnant that in some cases you’ve got mixed emotions. While, your husband may not share with you the pains of getting a infant. he may understand your emotions and give the loving support you need. Soon after all, a content Mom is also a happy child. Celebrate motherhood when it lasts. it is actually some thing to look forward as well.

the birth of a child undoubtedly does adjust her viewpoint of herself and I think her viewpoint in the globe.” , Sameerah Shareef

You made it via your wedding and that honeymoon inside the Bahamas. But just any time you thought you were already within the middle of your greatest years of one’s life ,,, you get the news that you are pregnant!

For your, this can be certainly the quite highlight of one’s married life. the enjoy you might have for 1 a further has now come to fruition proper in your personal womb.

But soon sufficient, you understand that pregnancy is just not all about celebration and anticipation….it may also be a time of physical and emotional strain. For the initial time, you get to encounter morning sickness and all of the discomfort, nausea, and vomiting that it entails. the sickness can start out just ahead of you miss your 1st period and it is brought on by the sudden boost in hormones throughout pregnancy. Pregnancy is also a time for studying, not merely for the mom but for the dad also. Any expecting couple need to realize that conception takes location in 3 simple stages: ovulation, fertilization, plus the division from the fertilized egg. Fertility varies considerably between couples, because it can take one couple only a few weeks just before the woman conceives, even though with others have to wait quite a few years prior to they have a youngster. there are many elements that may delay conception which may possibly incorporate drinking, smoking, taking particular types of medicines, obesity, drug use and exposure to heat and chemicals amongst others. Morning sickness is also extremely popular but is ordinarily gone by the second trimester. aside from morning sickness, a pregnant woman really should also anticipate to feel fatigue, swelling on the breasts, elevated sensitivity to odors, frequent urination, and abdominal bloating.

To assist you to possess a protected pregnancy, you could wish to look at the following ideas:

l Avoid foods with smells that bother youl Eat a lot of carbohydrates like ricel Try gelatin desserts, sugared decaffeinated or herbal teasl Avoid rich fatty foodsl Fruit is greater at stopping nausea than sweeter snacksl Ginger was verified to be protected to use and aid relieve sicknessl Keep dry crackers by your bed and consume or two before having up in the morningl Don’t let your stomach remain empty for a lot more than a few hoursl Trying acupressurel Take vitamins prescribed by the doctorCarrying a baby really should be by far the most incredible occasion inside your life. Taking care of your self must be best priority which implies you usually must get a wellness verify,up. Typical visits to your medical doctor will assist guarantee the progress of the pregnancy. Consume a well,balanced diet plan as that you are now “eating for two.” Take folic acid and ample amounts of vitamin B,12, which is identified in fish,milk, eggs, and meat.

Being pregnant is usually a superb event and will have an effect on the body for 9 months. Possessing a infant does not mean you have to provide up plenty of enjoyable activities. Be sure you get the appropriate prenatal care and it’s also alright to do light exercising throughout your pregnancy. Adapt a relaxation strategy that can permit you to become a lot more ready especially for the labor.

As your infant grows. Take time to pamper yourself and bond far more with your husband. better yet, get attractive maternity clothes that enhance your look. Possessing a child doesn’t meant you ought to stopped paying focus to your self and although you happen to be in such a stage, explain to your husband that is definitely component of becoming pregnant that occasionally you have mixed emotions. Despite the fact that, your husband could possibly not share with you the pains of having a baby. he could recognize your emotions and give the loving assistance you’ll need. Immediately after all, a happy Mom is also a content child. Celebrate motherhood whilst it lasts. it can be actually anything to appear forward too.

  1. Vital Advice about Pregnancy All Girls Need to Read. to have the chance of obtaining a a lot solid and improved pregnacy, you maybe need to look at getting some prenatal vitamins to yor diet regime as it is usually a delicate period in evry woman life. Staying sturdy and wholesome even though pregnant is essential for the development of your baby as well as for your common well being condition. to get a lot more information about natural prenatal vitamins please think about going to our website and send us an e-mail in case you’ve got any queries about our vitamin prenatal items.
  2. Make Your Pregnancy A fantastic Time By following these Good Tips

'More Indian Working Women Aborting Motherhood'

Posted by admin | Posted in motherhood | Posted on 29-05-2012-05-2008

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Young professionals like Manideepa Moitra say motherhood is an impediment on the career path."If I take a break from career for two three years, it is very difficult to come back and have the same position." However, some women studies groups and
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‘Mommy Wars’ Redux: A False Conflict

Posted by admin | Posted in motherhood | Posted on 28-05-2012-05-2008

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The “mommy wars” have flared up once again, sparked most recently by the publication of the English translation of Elisabeth Badinter’s book, “The Conflict:  How Modern Motherhood Undermines the Status of Women.” in it, Badinter argues that a certain contemporary style of mothering — a style that requires total devotion of mother to child, starting with natural childbirth and extending through exclusive and on-demand breastfeeding, baby-wearing and co-sleeping — undermines women’s equality.  Badinter claims that it does this in several ways:  by squeezing fathers out of any meaningful role in parenting; by placing such high demands on mothers that it becomes nearly impossible to balance paid work with motherhood (especially once fathers have been sidelined); and by sending the message that day care, bottle feeding, sleep training and the other things that allow women to combine motherhood with paid work are harmful to children, and that the women who use them are selfish.

A post in the Times’ Room for Debate forum earlier this month described the conflict staked out in Badinter’s book as one of “motherhood vs. feminism.” But what this discussion failed to capture is something that Badinter actually discusses in her book at some length, namely, that the debate over mothering is not just a conflict between feminists and women in general but rather a conflict internal to feminism itself. despite the fact that Badinter is frequently described in press coverage as “a leading French philosopher,” the book could hardly be called a sophisticated philosophical analysis, especially not when compared with the kind of scholarship that is produced by feminist philosophers these days.  the argument of the book is rather thin and much of the empirical evidence marshaled in support of that argument is unsystematic and anecdotal.  Moreover, serious questions have been raised about Badinter’s objectivity, particularly having to do with her arguments against breastfeeding, in light of her financial ties to corporations that produce infant formula, including Nestle and the makers of Similac and Enfamil.

Nevertheless, Badinter’s book — and the discussion it has provoked — does manage to shed light on some profound challenges for feminist theory and practice.

Much work in second wave feminist theory of the 1970s and 1980s converged around a diagnosis of the cultural value system that underpins patriarchal societies.  Feminists argued that the fundamental value structure of such societies rests on a series of conceptual dichotomies: reason vs. emotion; culture vs. nature; mind vs. body; and public vs. private.  in patriarchal societies, they argued, these oppositions are not merely distinctions — they are implicit hierarchies, with reason valued over emotion, culture over nature, and so on. And in all cases,  the valorized terms of these hierarchies are associated with masculinity and the devalued terms with femininity. Men are stereotypically thought to be more rational and logical, less emotional, more civilized and thus more fit for public life, while women are thought to be more emotional and irrational, closer to nature, more tied to their bodies and thus less fit for public life.

Leif Parsons

Where second wave feminists diverged was in their proposed solutions to this situation.  Some feminists argued that the best solution was for women to claim the values traditionally associated with masculinity for themselves. From this point of view, the goal of feminism was more or less to allow or to encourage women to be more like men.  in practical terms, this meant becoming more educated, more active in public life and less tied to the private sphere of the family, and more career-focused.

Other feminists, by contrast, argued that this liberal assimilationist approach failed to challenge the deeply problematic value structure that associated femininity with inferiority. From this point of view, the practical goal of feminism was to revalue those qualities that have traditionally been associated with femininity and those activities that have traditionally been assigned to women, with childbirth, mothering and care giving at the top of the list.

While both of these strategies have their merits, they also share a common flaw, which is that they leave the basic conceptual dichotomies intact.  Hence, the liberal assimilationist approach runs the risk of seeming a bit too willing to agree with misogynists throughout history that femininity isn’t worth very much, and the second cultural feminist approach, even as it challenges the prevailing devaluation of femininity, runs the risk of tacitly legitimating women’s marginalization by underscoring how different they are from men.

This is why the predominant approach in so-called third wave feminist theory (which is not necessarily the same thing as feminist philosophy) is deconstructive in the sense that it tries to call into question binary distinctions such as reason vs. emotion, mind vs. body, and male vs. female.  among other things, this means challenging the very assumptions by means of which people are split up into two and only two sexes and two and only two genders.

This short detour through the history of second wave feminism suggests that the choice that has emerged in the debate over Badinter’s book — that we either view attachment parenting as a backlash against feminism and or embrace attachment parenting as feminism — is a false one.  neither vision of feminism challenges the fundamental conceptual oppositions that serve to rationalize and legitimate women’s subordination.

Even if one accepts the diagnosis that I just sketched — and no doubt there are many feminist theorists who would find it controversial — one might think:  this is all well and good as far as theory goes, but what does it mean for practice, specifically for the practice of mothering?  a dilemma that theorists delight in deconstructing must nevertheless still be negotiated in practice in the here and now, within our existing social and cultural world.  And women who have to negotiate that dilemma by choosing whether to become mothers and, if they do become mothers, whether (if they are so economically secure as to even have such a choice) and (for most women) how to combine mothering and paid employment have a right to expect some practical insights on such questions from feminism.

This brings me to the question of the conflict to which Badinter refers in her title.  Many discussions of the book have focused on the internal psychological conflict suffered by mothers who work outside of the home — either by choice or by necessity — and feel guilty for not living up to the unrealistic demands of the contemporary ideology of motherhood.  As a working mother of four children who has juggled motherhood with an academic career for the last 16 years, I am all too familiar with this particular conflict, and I agree that it is pernicious and harmful to women.  But Badinter’s book also points to another kind of conflict, one that isn’t primarily internal and psychological but is rather structural.  this is the conflict between economic policies and social institutions that set up systematic obstacles to women working outside of the home — in the United States, the lack of affordable, high quality day care, paid parental leave, flex time and so on — and the ideologies that support those policies and institutions, on the one hand, and equality for women, on the other hand.

This is the conflict that we should be talking about.  Unfortunately this is also a conversation that is difficult for us to have in the United States where discussions of feminism always seem to boil down to questions of choice.  the problem with framing the mommy wars in terms of choice is not just that only highly educated, affluent, mostly white women have a genuine choice about whether to become über moms (though the ways in which educational, economic and racial privilege structure women’s choices is a serious problem that must not be overlooked).  the problem is also that under current social, economic, and cultural conditions, no matter what one chooses, there will be costs:  for stay at home mothers, increased economic vulnerability and dependence on their spouses, which can decrease their exit options and thus their power in their marriages; for working mothers, the high costs of quality child care and difficulty keeping up at work with those who either have no children or have spouses at home taking care of them, which exacerbates the wage gap and keeps the glass ceiling in place. (Families with working mothers and fathers who are primary care givers avoid some of these problems, but have to pay the costs associated with transgressing traditional gender norms and expectations.)

If the “the conflict” continues to be framed as one between women — between liberal and cultural feminists, or between stay at home mothers and working women, or between affluent professionals and working class women, or between mothers and childless women — it will continue to distract us from what we should really be doing: working together — women and men together— to change the cultural, social and economic conditions within these crucial choices are made.

Amy Allen is the Parents Distinguished Research Professor in the Humanities and a professor of philosophy and women’s and gender studies at Dartmouth College.

More to teen motherhood than contraception

Posted by admin | Posted in motherhood | Posted on 27-05-2012-05-2008

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DAVID GRIMMOND

OPINION: if price is not a major issue and at-risk women are ambivalent about either pregnancy or unmarried motherhood, then initiatives such as sex education and improved access to contraception are not likely to make a difference.

the Government announced on May 7 the Budget implications of its welfare reform plans. Strangely, or maybe that should be predictably, media attention has focused on the relatively peripheral Government initiative to offer long-term contraception for beneficiaries and their daughters.

A lot of the media attention was spurred by Sue Bradford’s histrionic response that it was “totally unacceptable” for the Government to get involved in women’s reproduction.

in principle, I agree with this statement, but it seems very late in the day to become concerned about the influence that government policy might have on people’s decisions about reproduction.

Government policies have been “involved in women’s reproduction” for about as long as there have been governments.

This is not just directly through policies about access to contraception and abortion, but also indirectly via the myriad tax and spending rules that governments operate.

like it or not, the Government’s rules impact on the distribution of wealth in society and this distribution of wealth directly influences marriage and child-bearing decisions. Income support policies, and particularly the tax system via Working for Families, financially reward people for having children.

These rewards may not be at the forefront of people’s minds when they consider starting a family, but much of what modern governments do is about promoting child rearing.

it begins with the provision of public health services, then moves on to support for early-childhood services, spending on education, a tax system that redistributes wealth towards households with children, and a benefit system that recognises the number of dependent children in its calculation of income support.

the stated aim of the Government’s latest contraception policy appears reasonable: reduce the risk of unwanted pregnancies and children by increasing access to contraception for people who potentially have fewer resources available for raising children.

although the policy will provide access to long-term contraception for all female beneficiaries, the unstated target of the policy is probably teenagers.

Women who give birth during their teenage years are more likely than other girls to drop out of high school, to remain unmarried, and to live in poverty.

the children of teenage mothers also fare worse than other children on economic, social and cognitive dimensions.

it logically follows that if teen childbearing causes large adverse consequences, then the natural response is to consider policies that can potentially reduce the likelihood of a teen pregnancy: sex education, abstinence promotion, improved contraceptive access, and related interventions.

the problem is that it is not clear that teenage parenting is in itself a cause of these problems.

A United States study by Kearney and Levine indicates that teen childbearing matters more because it is a marker of a social problem rather than being the underlying social problem itself. it seems that women who lack economic opportunity are more likely to give birth as a teen, and they and their children are likely to have inferior outcomes regardless of when they give birth.

Providing free contraception, for instance, could modestly reduce the likelihood of giving birth as a teen, but it does not alter the underlying cause that leads disadvantaged women to “drop out” of the mainstream path of completing school, investing in their human capital and putting marriage before motherhood.

Also, cost does not appear to be a reason for not using contraceptives. Kearney and Levine present US evidence that just 2 per cent of teenage girls who said they had unprotected sex said it was due to not being able to afford birth control.

the evidence in the US study indicates that women appear to get pregnant and have children while unmarried teenagers because their life prospects are diminished and hence they have an ambivalent attitude to youthful childbearing.

the consequent teenage motherhood may have little further detrimental impacts for mother or child.

if price is not a major issue and at-risk women are ambivalent about either pregnancy or unmarried motherhood, then initiatives such as sex education and improved access to contraception are not likely to make a material difference for these disadvantaged women.

Instead, a more appropriate policy prescription would focus on improving economic opportunities and reducing the incidence of poverty, through policies such as early-childhood education programmes and improved post-school education opportunities for at-risk young people.

Such policies are actually the prime focus of the Government’s welfare reforms.

These types of policies are difficult to design and implement, but their success will have more profound impacts on the lives of at-risk teenagers, and teenage parenthood will naturally decline as the teenagers will have active reasons for wanting to defer parenthood until later in life.

Dave Grimmond is a senior economist at Infometrics.

– © Fairfax NZ News

Motherhood, Not Discrimination, May Account for the Gender Gap in Tenure-Track Science Jobs

Posted by admin | Posted in motherhood | Posted on 27-05-2012-05-2008

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nearly half of all college math majors are women, and females now score as well as males on standardized math tests. yet only about 30 percent of Ph.D.s in mathematics—and fewer in computer science, physics and engineering—are awarded to women every year, and men far outnumber women in science- and math-related tenure-track positions at U.S. universities. Why? for decades researchers have blamed sex discrimination and bias, but research suggests that there may now be a less sinister culprit: motherhood.

There is no arguing that women in science have had to fight sex discrimination for decades. But Wendy Williams and Stephen Ceci, a husband-and-wife team of psychologists at Cornell University, recently reviewed the literature on whether female scientists still have more trouble landing jobs, publishing papers or winning grants when compared with men. They found no evidence of lingering bias. “The problem is that women don’t apply for the jobs, not that they’re discriminated against once they apply,” explains Williams, who initially published the research in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences USA last year and wrote a follow-up article in the March/April issue of American Scientist.

according to a report by the National Academy of Sciences, which Williams and Ceci cite, 27 percent of Ph.D.s in math are awarded to women, but females make up only 20 percent of the tenure-track applicant pool for positions in mathematics. In chemistry, the loss is greater: 32 percent of Ph.D.s are awarded to women, but only 18 percent of tenure-track chemistry job applicants are female.

What holds women back, Williams says, is the realization that they cannot juggle the many demands of an academic career and also have a family. The busiest years of a researcher’s life are in her 20s and 30s, which corresponds with the time her biological clock is ticking most loudly. Men can put off having kids longer and can also more easily juggle career and family because women still “do the lion’s share” of child care, Ceci adds. recent research by Adam Maltese, a science education researcher at the University of Indiana, shows that men are 5 to 10 percent more likely than women to have kids while in graduate school.

not everyone believes this is the whole story, however. “Motherhood and family do have an impact on women’s career trajectories in the sciences, but I think that this is too simplistic,” says Shirley Malcom, head of education and human resources at the American Association for the Advancement of Science. Plenty of successful female scientists have families, she notes.

But Malcom, Williams and Ceci agree that universities should give women the option of working part-time or flexible hours when they want to start families and “stopping the tenure clock” so that women can take more time with their careers. many universities have started offering family leave to graduate students, extending stipends and health benefits while suspending academic deadlines for those expecting babies. Women should never be forced to pick between career and family, Malcom says, and institutions need to “create a climate that allows them to not have to make these really tough, terrible choices.”

This article was published in print as "The Motherhood Gap."